Mistakes you’re making with modern networking

The word “networking” gets a bad rep, and with good reason.

A lot of what we were taught as lawyers (if at all!) is outdated, transactional, and weirdly awkward (like people staring at name badges or lanyards instead of looking at your face and listening to what you’re saying about yourself - active listening!).

Social media hasn’t helped, either - it comes with its own set of unwritten rules on how you engage and interact with people.

But despite its challenges and bad rep, I personally LOVE networking. Because I love making new friends. And that is what I focus on, even in the most business-like context.

More on that later - for now, I’ve put together a list of what BAD networking looks like from 4 years of building community and my own business.

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Here’s what I’ve learned from building a real community - and the mistakes to avoid if you want to do modern networking well:

❇️ Tony Soprano mentality
Networking is NOT about collecting favours.
It’s about generosity: giving freely and expecting nothing in return.
Making someone feel like they owe you is a terrible strategy - they’ll take an instant, permanent dislike to you.

❇️ Expecting overnight results
Networking is an evolution.
Great things don’t happen overnight - they take time, intentionality, and nurturing. Like anything worth having.

❇️ Being lazy
Closely related to expecting instant results.
“Build it and they will come” isn’t a valid community-building strategy. You have to work hard and consistently at it.

❇️ Being EX-clusive
You’re probably white and privileged if you do this.
Outdated hierarchies have no place in modern networking.
Targeting who you think is “most important” in the room and ignoring everyone else?
Bad idea.
Those less senior will be decision-makers someday.

❇️ Being impersonal
Personalisation matters.
It started when Starbucks asked for our names on coffee cups. People want to feel seen and included for who they are.

❇️ Overcomplicating it
Networking is just… making friends and helping them.
It’s really that simple.

❇️ Beating around the bush
If you want something - ask. Be upfront.
Modern business moves fast, and people don’t have time for waffle.
It’s actually more sincere to get to the point.

❇️ Coming on too strong
On the other end of the scale - when you’ve sold, stop selling.
Don’t be pushy and overbearing. Do your pitch and let people decide.
They know where to find you if you’ve done your job right.

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